Dave Barry
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Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems - if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is, some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse...
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In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them-but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop,...
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We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state has acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying...
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"Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and bestselling author of Dave Barry Turns 40 now shows how to age gracefully, taking cues from his beloved and highly intelligent dog, Lucy. Faced with the obstacles and challenges of life after middle age, Dave Barry turns to his best dog, Lucy, to learn how to live his best life. From "Make New Friends" (an unfortunate fail when he can't overcome his dislike for mankind) to "Don't Stop Having Fun" (validating his...
7) Lunatics
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An uproarious tale told in alternating voices follows the stories of a pet shop owner and a curmudgeon who find themselves on the run from police, terrorists, and a pizza chain mascot. One character, Philip Horkman is a happy man, the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for kids' soccer. The other, Jeffrey Peckerman is the sole sane person in a world filled with goddamned jerks and morons, and he's having a really...
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In brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner's permit in 2015 ("So you're about to start driving! How exciting! I'm going to kill myself."). He explores the hometown of his youth, where the grown-ups were supposed to be uptight fifties conformists, but seemed to have a lot of un-Mad Men-like fun, unlike Dave's own Baby Boomer generation, which...
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James, one of Peter's original Lost Boys, is now working for Scotland Yard and suspects that the heir to England's throne, Prince Albert Edward, is under the influence of shadow creatures who are after starstuff hidden in an underground vault which has only one key: the Sword of Mercy. Molly is determined to help, but when she suddenly goes missing, it's up to her eleven-year-old daughter, Wendy, to keep the starstuff out of the creatures' clutches...
12) Science fair
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The president of Kprshtskan is plotting to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School in Maryland in order to take over the United States government, but when Toby Harbinger, an ordinary student, makes up his mind finally to win the fair, the terrorists' plans go awry.
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Since Dave Barry writes about weird things, you might be tempted to think he has a weird brain. He does, of course, but that's not the whole explanation: A lot of the things he writes about-exploding Pop-Tarts, for example-are real. Join Dave as he examines UFO thrill-seekers and Elvis-worshippers, runs for president, and plays Claptonesque guitar in the world's most literary band that includes Stephen King (The Rock-Bottom Remainders).
In Dave's...
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"With this ... parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In [the book], the authors will take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that...
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In yet another collection of essays, investigative journalist Dave Barry is on the job, hard at work between lunch and naps researching and compiling out-of-the-ordinary news stories from his legion of loyal readers all across the country. Reported as only Dave's wit and wisdom can accomplish, Barry covers everything from exploding municipal toilets to spontaneous human combustion (over 200 cases) to humor impairment-citing Exhibit A, former President...
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Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and failed Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry has questions-lots of them-and sets out to find the answers. If you've ever wondered things such as, "Just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?" or "What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting?" then this book is for you.
Barry fans will appreciate this best-of collection...
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The humorist asked his readers to share their least favorite tunes and chronicles the hilarious responses.
When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. "I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song...
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Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! In this collection of eighty essays, the inimitable columnist observes everything that makes America the unique, special place you've grown to love: taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts.
With his beloved brand of zany humor, Barry covers it all, from lauding the little-appreciated...
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Dave Barry isn't just funny. His wit cuts right to the core of life's absurdities. In "My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old" and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. "Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished...
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Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry-provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you'll just have to buy it and find out. Barry on executive fitness: Today's top executives eat teeny meals and run ten miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they're so busy getting fit that many don't even know where their offices...